Insomnia

“When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep, and you’re never really awake. With insomnia, nothing’s real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy

Wonder how many people can name the movie that quote came from…I’m starting this at 1:34 am as I am sitting in my work parking lot. Besides a nap I got yesterday afternoon from 3:00 to 4:30 I haven’t been to sleep yet. Today is another 12 hour day for me and for some reason on those days I can not sleep. Or I cat nap, the 20 minutes before I have to go into work, on my breaks and in the evening during “couch time” with the hubby. I have some medicine my doctor has game me to help me sleep but I am too anxious I will sleep through my alarm and be late for work (has happened). My mind wonders to the most odd places during this time. Before I got married I would have no tv on and have a dark cool room, well he likes to have the tv on to fall asleep to and I have adapted to this bad habit. We usually go to bed around 10, he sets the sleep timer for a hour and a half, so on nights like tonight the tv turned off on me so I was left in the dark with my ADD mind. I look at the clock add up the time I have to still get some sleep in it’s after 11 my alarm is set for 12:15 and 12:20….paranoia I won’t awake from the first alarm. Then I thought about how maybe if we purchased a new bed I would sleep better..that purple bed has a lot of good reviews…oh and those sheex sheets, I am such a hot sleeper those would be awesome to keep me cool. Cool….I need to call the air guy our air conditioner isn’t working that great. I hear the dishwasher kick on because I set it at a delay to wash while we sleep and my Billy bad ass Rottweiler Ruger wakes and starts barking but yet someone walks into the house and he is like “hey what’s up” and goes in to be petted. I envy the people who can sleep throughout the night how amazing that must be and how they must feel waking up. I have never been a “sleeper” and unlike my husband no matter how much or how little sleep I get when my alarm goes off I am ready for the day.

I have been on my new medicine for over a week and I am not sure if I feel a difference or not. My face is not numb anymore but I am still having the muscle twitches in my arm, tingling in my fingers and toes and for some reason I have been having a very hard concentrating sometimes talking like porky pig. I feel drained doing the smallest tasks. The vertigo is crazy I use to get it when I would have issues with my ears so maybe that is it I will talk to the doctor in August.