Fishing in the dark

My dad is the best fisherman I know, along with my grandfather but my grandfather is slowing down and just can’t do what he use to do which is heartbreaking for me because I’ve always been close to him. Since all my medical issues have been going on I needed a break and how better to take a break than to be out on the water! I love the water, the sound, the smell, it is so calming to me. I live a little over a hour away from my dad and at my house it started to rain so we got on The Weather Channel and looked at the radar and it looked like it would just miss where we were going fishing so I called my dad and asked if he was still up for going his reply “I’m not afraid to get wet”, and that was that. We get to my dads and it was still in the low 90’s, get the boat loaded up with all our fishing gear, our coolers of snacks and drinks and I looked in the back of our SUV and debated on grabbing the umbrella but decided not to because the radar didn’t look as if we were going to get any rain and looking up at the sky with the sun I decided to leave the umbrella (like it would’ve mattered).

We head to the lake now this lake is in a chain of different lakes, some are no wake some you can go full throttle. Dad and I get in the boat my husband backs us into the water at the loading ramp and we pull off onto the sand to wait while Jamey parks the Jeep. My dad hasn’t had this boat very long, his bass boat burned up in a barn fire so he replaced the bass boat with a v-bottom boat that is brand new. (I will get into fishing stories with my dad and Jamey later). The sky is getting darker you can see the cold front move in like a Bob Ross painting but looking at the radar and getting the alerts on our phones we decide it will be ok the warning is for the north of the county and not where we were. We make our way through 3 lakes to go to the lake we want that’s known for bass, it’s about a half an hour boat ride to get there. We start to fish the shore of course dad catches the first one then Jamey then myself…and I feel it start to sprinkle. Ehhh it will be ok a few sprinkles don’t matter so we get our rain jackets on (frogg toggs, sterns and cabelas) and the sprinkles turn into rain. You can see it off in the distance coming at us on the lake. The lightning in the sky is sideways and the thunder booms as rain starts coming down sideways also. We rush to put our phones in the waterproof compartment. Slide the tackle bags under the seats and keep fishing. Dad brings in another bass, the lightning streaking the sky and the thunder booming and cracking the rain is just a steady down pour the rain jackets didn’t help. I kick my shoes off and continue to fish barefoot, hey it’s better than having wet feet in shoes.

Finally the rain let’s us now it’s just a constant rain. We troll along the bank catching a fish here and there as the rain turns into a sprinkle that is just under a “rain” definition and dad brings in a pike. I love pike fishing they always put up a good fight. Jamey has never caught a pike so he thought that was way cool. Now it’s at a light sprinkle still tripling around the bank we see this guy on his pier reel in this huge fish, it was so big he had to bring it up into his yard just to get the hook worries he threw it back and it swam off as did all of our fish we caught. We think it was a carp or muskee, either way it was BIG! It’s still sprinkling but just barely we continue to fish around the bank. We are soaked…fingers and toes are pruned, rain still dripping off the brim of our ball caps. My ball cap was a Monster energy that we got when we went to watch super cross, Jamey had his favorite Cubs hat and my dad had a camo Cabelas with a black American flag stitched in. I kept nagging dad because he wore his tennis shoes and socks to take them off because we were so wet. My nikes were under the drivers seat filled with water and Jamey’s Sanuks were wet but not holding water. Dad turns on the radio and just leaves it on the first channel he can pick up which was classic rock from the 70s and 80s. I tried to get him to sync one of our phones or use our Sirius radio but nooooo “it’s fine” …ooook dad.

It’s well after 9pm we have caught about 10 bass, one pike and a lone blue gill. Now this entire time I am fishing the back of the boat Jamey middle and dad front with the trolling motor. I am using the big motor in the back to help me keep my balance, I’m still getting light headed. My upper thigh is still numb and I don’t have full strength if my hand yet. Dad and Jamey gave me crap because a couple times I about casted myself right out of the boat! For some reason my dad and Jamey both have me swing my rod around so they can take my fish off for me, I usually do it myself so I think they are doing it because of my episode but I am thankful they did without me having to ask. I try to hide my hand and head spins from them so they won’t worry but I just couldn’t hold the rod anymore. I just reeled my biggest bass of the night in and it was all I had to get it in the boat and get my picture with it so I decided I’m done the night, I put my pole down and just tell them I am cold (all 3 of us still dripping wet). Dad brings his biggest in for the night and it’s almost 11pm. I’m the one that has to be the party pooper and tell them we need to wrap it up because Jamey has to work in the morning, if he didn’t we would’ve fished all night..I love doing that. There is just something about the water, none of us are talking we are all just trolling along enjoying the peace. No traffic, no work, no problems, and if you do think about your problems they are not stressed over when you are on the water. Poor Jamey doesn’t get his “big one” for the night. We pack up and start to head back, it is pitch black the clouds hiding the moon so getting back is kind of hard. Jamey holding a flashlight and the the solar lights on the bouys.

Like we have done many times, Jamey backs the Jeep in dad loads the boat, we pull her out and strap her down. I was going to grab what clothes we did have out of the boat but it’s a 15 min drive to his house and everything is soaking wet. We get unloaded, everything put away or put in our SUV. We say our goodbyes and start to head home. I am still dripping…I have the baseball bag in the back!! It has 2 blankets in there!! So Jamey and I strip down butt ass naked he has the Notre Dame blanket wrapped around him and I have the zebra print wrapped around me. Turn the heat up because that cold front moved in we went from 90’s to 60’s ahh the luxury of heated seats. We got home after midnight laughing and talking on the way home about IF we were to get pulled over explaining to the police on why we are naked with blankets wrapped around us!!


I left our house on Tuesday July 16 at 12:50 am like usual on a 12 hour day. I badged in at 1:53 am went to my locker to put my keys and redbull up saying “hi” as I past the night shifters going to the cafeteria for their lunch break. I was scheduled to work in the “clean room” that is a area that is environmentally controlled, mostly germ free and if anything breaches that cleanliness we have to do what is called a “full clean” where we clean the entire area top to bottom with Clorox and isopropanol. So I go into our “gowning room” grab a bonnet make sure all my hair is secure (we can not wear make up, fingernail polish, very strict clothing policy) next I grab a surgical gown while I am chatting with the day workers that have also came in early. I grab my bootie shoe covers and sit on a stainless steel bench to put them on (we have a line on the floor marked off for a “clean side” and a “dirty side”) you put one on then place your foot on the clean side then put the other on and do the same. I remember one of the girls sitting on the bench across from me and as she is putting her booties on she is talking to me but it sounded like when Charlie Browns parents would talk to him. I couldn’t understand her so I just smiled we both stood up and sanitized our hands and went into the clean room area to start our work day.

Once inside the clean room everything is sterile from the computer cords to the clock on the wall. I remember walking and my right leg felt heavy…”oh great…this again” my toes are now tingling..I sit down on a stainless steel stool to try to maybe breathe and meditate my way through this episode. Next goes my arm my fingers tingling Luke they were asleep. This has been happening off and on since about May, my physician is aware and I was scheduled for some testing and started a new medicine 2 weeks prior. As I am sitting there I start to see zig zags of light in both eyes…”well this is new”, so I stand up to find one of my friends to give her heads up that I feel off today. As I stand my head is now tingling the entire room is moving, I Frankenstein stomp walk until I find my friend Brenda holding onto the wall with every step. When I find her I can now feel myself blinking non stop and my right cheek feels swollen and numb. Instantly she asks if I am ok, in my mind I know what I want to say but as I open my mouth to speak I can not get the words out I am talking like porky pig.

My sister lives about 5 minutes from where we work and my mom lives about 15 minutes away so I finally get out the words for her to call my mom and sister either one to take me to the hospital that something is not right. She helps me walk into the gowning room to sit on the bench because if I were to fall onto the clean room floor they would have to do a full clean and everyone hates doing those unscheduled cleans. It is now after 3:30 am and of course my sister is asleep she has 2 little ones and my mom is a heavy sleeper that puts her phone on silent. So I have her call my husband and we live over a hour away. Now I have about 3 people around me I can’t talk they are all staring at me asking if I’m ok the right side of my face looks like it’s melting off. I hear the overhead ding for the first responders “great just great” I do not like attention or to be weak I am a strong independent woman and a leader I can not be down. I now have a crowd around me of first responders and volunteer firefighters that are trained in first aid. They keep asking my name and date of birth what day it is where I am at. My brain is saying it but I have no idea what if anything is coming out of my mouth. I hear “the ambulance is on it’s way”.

I was raised Baptist and since I guess my “title” is non-denominational. I believe in god I believe in heaven and hell. Now if you are reading this and you don’t have the same beliefs please don’t judge me. I do not judge anyone or tell them they are wrong. I have friends that are atheists, family that is Presbyterian and so on but I respect them and they respect me. As I’m being loaded into the ambulance I don’t remember what they are saying and what I am saying I don’t remember the IV that has really done a bruising number on my arm. All I remember is praying that my kids know I love them, my granddaughters, my husband, my family and friends. I’m out of the ambulance and into the ER…they are showing me pictures in a book that I have to say what they are, what my name is, my date of birth, my birthday etc. They test my blood sugar 88..not bad, pulse 96 blood pressure 88/62 (mine is always low). My husband arrives then my mom, sister, dad and step mom. One thing about my family whenever someone is hurt or sick we rally around them. We may not see each other besides holidays but by god if someone is in the hospital we show up like a family reunion…and I am thankful to have a family like that. I’ve tried to live by “you just never know” and to make sure I tell the people in my life that I love them because “you never know”.

I was scared…I couldn’t stop blinking even when my eyes were shut they were blinking, I had no control. I didn’t want to talk because I kept studdering or I just made no sense. I kept trying to smile because I knew the right side of my face was numb and hanging. I remember the hospital staff tell my family that I am showing signs of a stroke, I don’t remember much after that. I remember the MRI…a INCLOSED MRI…and in pops the scene from the exorcist where she is getting her MRI. They get me into position, tell me to let them know if my tattoos get hot because it can happen (fantastic). They put this bulb in my hand, my right hand and tell me to squeeze it if I have any problems. I get the ear plugs in and the nurse asks “would you like a washcloth over your face? It helps people with anxiety”, I shake my head yes and they finish getting me ready and in I go. I have my eyes shut with the washcloth over them earplugs in and I can hear it, at first I was telling myself “it’s like Mario brothers it’s just the sound of someone playing that damn game” then sound would change and I could feel my heart start to race and that anxiety attack feeling so I tried to tell myself “it’s just rave music now” that only lasted so long and I was trying to squeeze the bulb they put in my right hand but I just couldn’t get my hand to work. I wanted to spring up and crawl out like a mad woman but I felt the table move and out I went.

They admit me into the hospital I get my own room at the end of the hall (thank goodness). They did a ultrasound of my carotic arteries in my neck, a CT scan and a echocardiogram of my heart. My aunts and uncle show up to see me along with my daughter and her husband. My room is full…and full of love. My aunt is a nurse practitioner so I get a lot of translating from her. My MRI came back NO stroke and NO plaque (so MS is ruled out), but I have white spots on my brain. The doctor will be in tomorrow to talk to me the nurse says as she is putting the leg pumper things on for circulation..I love those I wanted to take it home but I was told no, darn it! Everyone gives their well wishes, hugs and I love yous and slowly clears out. Jamey left to get us some clothes, my quip toothbrush!!!, phone chargers etc and to let Ruger out. I was so glad and thankful he was staying the night with me. I couldn’t get off the bed or have extra weight on the bed or it would set a alarm off so he pulled the reclining chair up close to my bed and put his hand on mine, that was one of those moments where you take a picture in your mind and hold onto that feeling. The hospital pillows are what they are he didn’t think to grab any sleeping stuff from home so we had to make due with what they gave us. Hilarious seeing Jamey try to cover his entire body with the hospital blanket they gave him that was a square!

My goal for the night was rest and sleep…which I don’t do either at home so I can about guarantee it’s not happening in the hospital then add the nurse that checks on you every 2 hours to see if you want anything! 5:30 am is when the nurse came in to do the echo then my nurse came in at 6 saying that the doctor makes his rounds at 9. I can’t eat hospital food, thanks to my family I didn’t have to worry about food. My mom showed up with Dunkin Donuts (well I’m never going to lose weight!). As with any hospital stay it took what seemed like forever to get any answers or to get out. After finally talking to a doctor my family knows well they diagnosed me as having a hemiplegic migraine..who knew you could have a migraine and not feel it. I’ve only had 2 migraines in my lifetime and I don’t want to have anymore. To be continued….


“When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep, and you’re never really awake. With insomnia, nothing’s real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy

Wonder how many people can name the movie that quote came from…I’m starting this at 1:34 am as I am sitting in my work parking lot. Besides a nap I got yesterday afternoon from 3:00 to 4:30 I haven’t been to sleep yet. Today is another 12 hour day for me and for some reason on those days I can not sleep. Or I cat nap, the 20 minutes before I have to go into work, on my breaks and in the evening during “couch time” with the hubby. I have some medicine my doctor has game me to help me sleep but I am too anxious I will sleep through my alarm and be late for work (has happened). My mind wonders to the most odd places during this time. Before I got married I would have no tv on and have a dark cool room, well he likes to have the tv on to fall asleep to and I have adapted to this bad habit. We usually go to bed around 10, he sets the sleep timer for a hour and a half, so on nights like tonight the tv turned off on me so I was left in the dark with my ADD mind. I look at the clock add up the time I have to still get some sleep in it’s after 11 my alarm is set for 12:15 and 12:20….paranoia I won’t awake from the first alarm. Then I thought about how maybe if we purchased a new bed I would sleep better..that purple bed has a lot of good reviews…oh and those sheex sheets, I am such a hot sleeper those would be awesome to keep me cool. Cool….I need to call the air guy our air conditioner isn’t working that great. I hear the dishwasher kick on because I set it at a delay to wash while we sleep and my Billy bad ass Rottweiler Ruger wakes and starts barking but yet someone walks into the house and he is like “hey what’s up” and goes in to be petted. I envy the people who can sleep throughout the night how amazing that must be and how they must feel waking up. I have never been a “sleeper” and unlike my husband no matter how much or how little sleep I get when my alarm goes off I am ready for the day.

I have been on my new medicine for over a week and I am not sure if I feel a difference or not. My face is not numb anymore but I am still having the muscle twitches in my arm, tingling in my fingers and toes and for some reason I have been having a very hard concentrating sometimes talking like porky pig. I feel drained doing the smallest tasks. The vertigo is crazy I use to get it when I would have issues with my ears so maybe that is it I will talk to the doctor in August.

Ruger the Rottweiler

In 2016 my now husband wanted to get me a puppy for my birthday (score ahh points for him). Weeks leading up to getting Ruger we researched different kind of dogs, I had always had labs growing up and they are such smart and well behaved dogs…but the fur! So we were bouncing back and forth between a Doberman or a Rottweiler pros and cons then he showed me a picture on the internet of these Rottweiler puppies and my heart melted. We set up a time to meet with the owner which that was sketchy but there was three little puppies in a make shift kennel in the grass. Supposedly the mother is a junk yard working dog and the father is a show dog in California (we googled and unless he forged paper work when know who his daddy is). There was one female and 2 males. The other male was chunky and shy, the female was getting picked on by the other bully male. I was dead set on a male so now it’s between the bully and the chubby shy guy. “I don’t want a pussy Rottweiler I want a protector” says my husband and we fill the papers out, pay the guy and I grab the little rottie.

We named him Ruger after the guns we have. He was so cute laying in the bottom of the cart at Petsmart. About went bankrupt buying all the puppy essentials. I highly suggest Kong .com he had a teddy bear we named Dinkleman for 3 years!! We also got him a stuffed dragon we named Puff but he had the squeaker out of that pretty quick. I saved Rugers baby teeth I would find around the house. Took pictures we he lasted the stairs and when he could jump up on the bed. He is definitely a one owner dog he is my birthday present but he is my husbands dog. It wasn’t long before he would “tree me” he liked to nip my butt cheeks til I climbed the furniture. I know I know bad habit because 3 years later it is still one of his favorite things to do. He has a hatred of toilet paper, paper towels and napkins. Potty training was….something thank goodness for tile floors! We bought a tie out thinking maybe just maybe that would be a great idea so we wouldn’t have to stand outside with him. No, no that was a horrible idea he freaked out took off like a bat out of hell getting tied up and around everything he could while yelping like he was about to die. This was the moment we thought there was something mentally wrong with him.

At the time we were living on a lake with a little non fenced in yard so that was a challenge he loved pontoon rides on the lake but he hates bicycle tires, one day he knocked a little girl off her bike just so he could lick on her. My husband went chasing after him and I’m not sure exactly how he did it but he tripped going chest first into the grass. I tried not to laugh but seeing the grass stain smear on his chest just made me roll in laughter! We were going to put him a military type dog training but with life happening we had to move over an hour away so we just signed him up for dog obedience classes. My husband and I both attended the instructor gave us a clicker. The just of it was if they do well you click and give a treat if they don’t do what you ask you can spray them with a water that is in a spray bottle. In this class there was a couple with a big Great Dane naked Luna that only ate organic treats and rode in a Pirus (talk about the funniest thing!). There was a lady whose dog humped EVERYTHING. I felt bad but yet made me chuckle every time they came to class. There was a couple that had a older little dog that was mean and had done the class two times prior. Ruger has ADD so we would have to take him away from everyone so we could work with him. He was ahead of the game he could already sit, shake, lay down and come. So he was just digging the click treat click treat. On our last class my husband forgot the clicker and worried we would be shunned from class so he mouthed the sound of the clicker, I couldn’t stop laughing and ruger was a wee bit confused. We really didn’t get anything out of that class other than a bill so he was a dog school drop out.

He definitely is a challenge I keep telling my husband this is why god waited so long for us to meet in life because if we were to have kids together it would be a hot mess! Ruger is very obsessive of my husband I can’t touch or kiss him around Ruger if I try he paws me and gets infront of me. He has to be between us, he pushes the kids around with his fat head like he’s herding them. He has to have special food or he gets sores and benedryl for his allergies. My husband always says “I think he was left in the sack too long”.

I will be posting some pictures on Instagram soon.

This weeks eats

So this week has been hectic so it has been easy meals. On Monday we had tacos which if we have it we usually have it on a Tuesday, “taco Tuesday” but this week was taco Monday. We made beef and cilantro lime chicken for the meat give a little option there. And I made my homemade salsa, nothing beats homemade salsa! Simple but so good. Roma tomatoes, red onion, garlic, jalapeños, fresh cilantro, some fresh lemon and sea salt..pretty simple yet fireworks of flavor. I’m not a big fan of tortilla shells so I just made taco salad for mine. No margaritas this time to wash it down with still recovering from the weekend!

On Tuesday we went to my in laws for supper, my father in law has been feeling down due to his prostate biopsy he had so my mother in law invited us over to cheer him up. She makes everything from scratch so we has homemade lasagna, garlic bread, garden green beans with bacon and a romaine salad from the garden. And of course fresh brewed sweet tea, a great summer staple!

On Wednesday my wonderful husband made supper while I took a nap after working 12 hours. He grilled chicken thighs in a sweet heat rub and made a dill pickle pasta salad. Very proud of his side dish and he cleaned up after himself!!

Tonight is Thursday so we will be grabbing some subway on our way to my second job. I clean lake houses so not much time to cook. And on the Fridays we have the kids it’s always “pizza Friday” . No baseball this weekend which is a good thing because I have to work on Saturday. “All work and no play makes Jake a poor boy”!

Still nothing from the doctor yet, waiting on insurance on my prior authorization of my MRI. Today I am not as tired toes and fingers on my right side tingling and arm is tight…don’t think the steroids the doctor put me on are helping. Thoughts and prayers!

Lights out

5:10 am, tired, hungry, thirsty sitting in hallway on concrete floor at work waiting for the power to come back on. This makes for a very long 12 hour day! My blueberry redbull source of energy is sitting all alone in my suv. Lights went out a little before 4 am, I came in at 2, woke up at 12:15 and went to bed at 10. Not sure when I fell asleep we were watching Mexico play in the gold cup, no matter how many times it is explained to me soccer confuses me. Offsides, how far the goalie can go, corner kicks, the colored cards..what I do understand about soccer is this..we are the only place that calls it soccer instead of football, the field is not called a field but a pitch, men soccer players have great hair, they use a stretcher for hammy cramps, the fans are intense and not much more. But Jamey has been patient at trying to explain. Ass is numb and now starts the Charlie horse cramps in my legs. An amazing start to Monday let me tell ya! Our water coolers are bottless which is great until the power goes out and they do not have a battery power back up.

Wondering why there is not emergency lighting in bathrooms. Listening in on other people’s conversations on why the power is out when it will come back on and who they have talked to where they live and if they have power. Some bad storms rolled through leaving a mess of high water, downed trees and power lines.

6:13 and we have lights! But because I work in a sterile environment that means doing a “full clean”…which means you wipe EVERYTHING down with Clorox and alcohol to kill any germs. Then that means people will bitch about what other people are or are not doing. Oh thank you redbull, my addiction.

“I ain’t as good as I once was”

#pitboss #deepeddyvodka #hungover

You ever forget your age until life reminds you? Ohh Toby Keith said it best..

I ain’t as good as I once was
I got a few years on me now
But there was a time
Back in my prime
When I could really lay it down.”

I had to work on Saturday and for once the weather was nice mid to lower 70’s. I got Jamey the Pitboss for Fathers Day and I must say it’s pretty bad ass. We smoked 2 chicken quarters and about 5lbs of baked beans (not exactly 5lbs but one of those big foil pans). We used Mesquite wood chips, I think the smell in the air made all the neighbors hungry! Anyone that has smoked anything knows that it is a long slow process so my ADD kicked in and I decided to paint one of the outside doors (bad idea on a breezy day), and our old ugly glass patio table I painted with chalkboard paint on top and flat black legs. I am very impressed with the chalkboard table! We have been working on our side yard are for a couple weeks. We put down a deck, added mulch, stepping stones, tiki torches, our pallet bar Jamey made for our wedding, portable fire pit, new grill, Notre Dame grill mat and flag. It is slowly coming together next will be chairs for our chalkboard table, lantern lights for the side of the house, rope lighting for around the outside of the deck and some flowers or bushes.

After we ate we decided to have a few drinks, unwind and chill from the long, busy week and just sit by the fire and listen to some music. We were taking turns playing songs on YouTube, Jamey was sweet playing by playing “walking the wire” by Imagine Dragons which was the song I walked down the isle to and “Tennessee whiskey” live version by Chris Stapleton and JT (Jamey’s second man crush..Tom Brady being his first) which was our first dance song. I’d pick Kid Rock, he’d pick Blake Shelton. I’d pick Jason Derulo he’d pick Kenny Cheney and so on. I got criticized for some of my music choosing because Jamey didn’t think our old lady neighbor would appreciate Slipknot being blared after 11pm. Been wide awake since about 4:30, I don’t sleep much even after a few drinks. I’m laying here listening to the birds outside, the box fan I have beside the bed and the soft faint snore of my husband as he lays beside me. As I’m listening to all of this all I can think is “damn, I’m not as good as I once was” and “you know you don’t do vodka well”! Our new find is, the lemon is fresh and summery.

I’m going to take some Aleve eat a banana while sitting outside on the deck this morning. It is now 7:05 the sun is up taking the crispness out of the air. Suppose to rain later so won’t be sitting outside later. We are meeting my dad, stepmom, sister and her family for lunch at Texas Roadhouse to celebrate Father’s Day and my dads birthday later today. Hopefully this headache is gone it’s always loud in there I have a hard time hearing as it is so let’s jam the music so loud the people behind you know how you like your steak because you have to yell it…oh and don’t forget when my drink needs refilled I have to wait because all the wait staff has to stop and do a little line dance that no one cares to watch.